I can take no credit for this gem whatsoever, it being the sole creative product of my excellent colleague. How he managed to so succinctly and humorously capture all that can go wrong on a tight grant deadline is a source of amazement and enjoyment for me. I hope for you, too.
1. The batteries in my ancient mouse die.
2. The rechargeable replacement batteries are missing (usually in service of a noisy toy stuck in loud mode outside my door).
3. My browser crashes.
4. Recent browser history is wiped out upon restart.
5. Dropbox hangs on to the 27 MB document I need to be revising.
6. Router craps out. Probably from overheating trying to communicate with Dropbox.
7. Computer can’t find wifi upon router restart.
8. Document miraculously downloads, opens, and crashes Word.
9. Autosave didn’t.
10. Upon reopen, document automatically prints, using the last of the red ink in a printer that won’t print in any color if one cartridge is empty.
11. The garbage disposal sprays something yucky all over the kitchen, and it must be dealt with NOW.
12. Maybe it was a kid and not the garbage disposal.
13. PI emails and says disregard the 27-MB doc. See the new (31MB) instead. On Dropbox, of course.
14. Repeat 3-9 (attempts 10 but is foiled by stubborn printer).
15. Finally get to work. Things go eerily well.
16. Fall asleep at the desk before finishing. Head to bed.
17. Wake up to email from PI saying never mind on new doc. Use the old one.
18. Pretend email server is down and ignore PI. Complete doc and spend the day trying to upload to Dropbox.
19. Tell work taking the next day off to get some fresh air.
20. Wake up sick because it was a kid instead of the garbage disposal.
Share with your friends in research administration and grant proposal development. They’ll definitely get at least one LOL out of it.